I have recently been thinking a lot about the gift of being human.
What does that really mean?
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't truly know the answer, but I do think I am getting closer. And I think that the answer is being imperfect.
As we live in a world that constantly chases and strives for perfection, it makes me think that we might just be missing the point.
To be human is to be flawed.
Whether it is emotionally, physically, spiritually, or in any other manner. But those flaws that people hide, or bury, or try to mask are truly the most beautiful things in life. And who says we should make small of our imperfections? I want to go the other way with it.
I want to celebrate our flaws, and I want to celebrate others’ flaws too. Aren’t those little imperfections the things in life that we sometimes focus too much of our time on? The scratch across the side of our car. The person who cut us off in traffic. The stranger who rushed past us and forgot to hold the door.
But what about the story behind it?
What about the memory of your child flying their Transformer all the way to their car seat to make that scratch, and how dearly you wish they still did those things? Or the single mom who just got off her third shift that week and has to get her son to jiu-jitsu practice on time. Or the first-generation college student who stayed up all night trying to finish their thesis, and was too tired to remember to be polite.
I find that these “bumps in the road” that knock us off course sometimes in our day are really blessings, that are there to remind us to stop and smell the flowers. To take a minute to breathe, and appreciate life a bit more amidst the chaos of rushing to get the kids to school, or fighting the Van Wyck construction for the thousandth time.
I must say my amazing father has been trying to assist me in coming to this realization for years now. Only a week or two ago he said:
“You’re just too rigid sometimes, and I bet you would benefit from letting some of that go.”
And he couldn't be more right. Like most parents are.
When I reflect on this, it makes me realize I probably have been a bit too tough on my family, myself, and others at times.
And I remember responding the other day with: “I’m this tough on myself, so I’m not this tough on everyone else.” Which really is the truth, even if it might sound a bit strange coming from someone who just spent the better part of two years writing a book about positivity.
But I can genuinely say that I am softening those hard corners more and more these days. Maybe it's time, wisdom, or genuine life experience that is allowing me to see things a bit differently. To slow down. To step back. To wait and see. To simply allow life to flow a bit more. Without stepping in or using every moment possible as a “teachable moment.” Especially with my children.
Who truly are the most wonderful things I have ever seen in this world. They are so beautiful, so special, such imperfect, sweet, loving creatures who each have their own preferences, strengths, and character.
Just like all of us.
Because we are all human. And that is what makes us truly special. We all have our flaws, but maybe that is the point.
That we grow. And that we live. And that we appreciate. And that we share, connect, balance, and genuinely bond with others who also have their own entire set of flaws.
The beauty lies in the imperfect. “You cannot yell at a plant to grow.”
This is probably one of my favorite quotes in life, and I have been saying it for years. But I don't think I've ever seen it in the light of looking at my children as a mirror in the same way. You cannot parent a child to grow a certain way either, no differently than blades of grass or an orchid. Rather, I try to remind myself: don't try so hard making your kid a “good kid” that you forget that you have a great one already.
There’s a study often associated with NASA that has always stayed with me. Something like 98% of five-year-olds test as creative geniuses. But by the time we turn 25, that number drops down to 2%.
Why?
Because our imperfect ways of reasoning and creative problem-solving are dulled, and we are regularly told to fit into a box. Systems that rely on true/false choices, multiple-choice responses, or math problems that have only one answer.
But the gray areas of life do not have one answer. Life has infinite answers, and we have infinite potential to create and understand them. We have the ability to open up our perspective and consciousness so that it is wider than the sky. As long as we realize it.
The secret is to give love unconditionally.
As long as we share harmony with each other and the people we love the most, we will always be a step ahead of the rest.
We are all only trying to do our best, every single day.
Let your best be flawed, raw, genuine, emotive, and honest.
That is the beauty of life. That is the true spirit of what makes us human, and how lucky are we that we can give and share our genuine selves without fear or judgment.
Be imperfect. Be yourself, and let that be enough.
Chris
P.S. Just a little update: The book formatting is finished, and I’m happy to share it’s going into proofing in the next two weeks! I'll be getting hard copies in hand very, very soon. Journal to follow! Feel free to swing by www.strictlypositivity.com for updates.